on being grateful....

I sometimes feel so unappreciated for the efforts I put forth. I am not a good cook, I have NEVER claimed to be a good cook, but I do provide for my family. It hurts my feelings so much when I cook a dinner and my husband critiques my efforts. Tonight I was told "no offense (we all KNOW not to start out like that right?) but you aren't exactly good enough in the kitchen to go altering recipes"! I was so hurt. The part that I was going to alter was for ckn noodle soup....the end of the recipe told you to mix flour and milk and add to the soup along with more milk....I was simply going to omit that part from the soup next time so it would be more of a ckn broth as opposed to the milky broth....but no apparently I'm not smart enough to make that call on my own...I should just look for a new recipe all-together b/c I am not smart enough or good enough to alter a recipe......I think for the rest of the week my family will be eating hot dogs and ckn nuggets and spaghetti......

life's not fair....

whoever said life was fair needs to be shot....it's not fair.....some people work hard their whole lives and just keep getting shit on time after time....my poor parents have worked hard their whole lives....raising 3 kids plus a grandkid. They just can't seem to catch any luck. My dad has had medical problems for the past 15 years....my mom lost her job of 25 years....my nephew(who lives with them) was in a serious accident last summer and had loads of medical bills.....they just can't get ahead....cable gone...gas, I just found out...gone....they have no heat or hot water....they are so far behind on all of their bills.....why oh why can't they catch a break....I am so angry and upset I just don't know what to do.....I want to pay all of their bills, but I know that doesn't help them in the long run. If they can't pay them now, they won't be able to pay them next month either....why is it that in our society people look normal and hard working, but what you don't see is the pain they are living with every day....the poverty that lives right next door to you....I'm crushed that my parents are suffering....

Making friends?

So how are you at making friends? I am one of those people with few friends, but many acquaintances. The friends I do have are strong and powerful friendships. Ones that I've had for years, and I am loyal and steadfast to my true friends. However, I sometimes feel like I need to branch out more and make more friends. Sure I know lots of people, but just not well enough to call up and say "hey, wanna go have a drink"....I was shy growing up, and I try very hard to not be that way now. Sometimes I fake confidence though. I am so afraid that people won't remember me, or won't like me that when I see someone in public I save myself from rejection, I will simply act like I didn't see them. I know other people probably see this as being rude, but I am so afraid someone will look at me and say "I'm sorry, have we met, should I know you??" I have been finding myself lonely a lot more lately too...I think it's b/c school has started so I can't socialize as much with my own friends due to schedule conflicts....so I sit at home with my boys. I need a hobby, more friends....something so I don't feel so alone all of the time!?

why is it?

That when my husband is away on business that I find myself deep in thought about silly things? I'm more pensive, reflective, and almost sad when he is not around. I have a hard time being happy for others, seeing the bright side of situations. It's almost like I wish unhappiness on others just b/c I am unhappy. Is this something others experience as well, am I just sad b/c my other half is not here?
My husband and I have been married for almost 13 years now. That seems like forever, yet I can remember everything so well. We were married 1/2 way through my sophomore year of college, I was just 19 years old. Many people said we were too young, didn't know what we were doing. But we did....we were young and in love....we married in Vegas...I don't regret it for a second! We travelled and had fun and remodeled a house....we didn't have kids until our 7th year of marriage. Things got more complicated then, we had some problems, but we survived...I'm thankful every day for my husband and am so lucky and proud to call him my dear!

life with boys

I was thinking about this earlier and thought I'd jot some of it down before I forget....

when you have boys it will never surprise you when:
there is ALWAYS pee in the toilet...sometimes more!
there is usually water all over the bathroom counter and floor (I am just happy they are washing their hands)
you will find toys in compromising positions
crumbs all over the dining room floor
toys scattered across the basement floor, bedroom floors, living room floors...
sand in pockets
mud on shoes
grass stains on jeans
numerous cuts and bruises and scrapes on knees

but with boys you will also find many I love you's, snuggles, hugs and kisses!
I love being a mommy to boys, I always said I wanted boys and I am grateful that God blessed me with the 2 best boys ever!

about me

Well as per the title I'm Jenn and I'm from small town, midwest US! I started this blog mainly as a place to document my thoughts and daily life with my husband and 2 boys. Heck even the cat is male! I am a former accountant who was laid off in 2008 and now am a stay at home mom. My husband is in sales and travels on a semi-regular basis. My oldest son, we'll call him Posey cause that's his nickname, is in Kindergarten and my youngest son, we'll call him Bear, is still at home with me full time. We have a cat named Charlie (yes, I'll reveal the cats name) who is a total pain in the ass! I hope to be able to document some of my kids lives, my life and just come here to let it all out!